Hey! There was an Elephant in my Room!

I forget sometimes that this is my shake can to rattle at myself. So the very things that Need to go in here are the ones that remain deeply hidden inside of me. But hey...no regrets!!

Regrets are what I want to talk about. I have lived, what feels like my whole life, with regrets. They were not obnoxious or obtrusive. They never hurt anybody or caused a world war...but the truth is they hurt me. They were the proverbial elephant in the room of my life.

"Regrets," you say, "what the heck is a regret?" So glad you asked.

Regrets sound like this inside our minds:

  "I should have never said that..."

 "What if I had done this instead..."

" I know I am forgiven, but..."

"I have wasted so much time by..."

You get the idea. That's what the inside of me sounded like.

What they did is even worse. Regrets about old friendships kept me from forming new ones. Regrets about things I had said in fear of saying the wrong thing again. Regrets about old sins I had confessed kept me in self condemnation. Sadness, fear, condemnation all held me captive because of one little anchor...Regret. I even had regrets of things I had done wrong as a mom, a wife, a daughter. There was no area of my life that was free from regret.

A couple of days back I read a post on the blog of an author I like, Francis Frangipine. (note: I do not always agree with him, but his writing impels me to think.) In it, he addresses the things above and goes a step further. He calls consuming regret a spiritual stronghold.

As I am reading his blog, tears are streaming down my face. He was describing me to the very last period. He does not stop with the description, he continues on with the prescription and encouragement to allow God to clear the regrets, not be afraid of godly sorrow, and live a life free of chain-binding regrets.

The next day, I went forward at church and prayed with a dear friend. By the word of my testimony and agreement in prayer I have been set free. The elephant called regret no longer lives in me.

So my next steps...not get caught in the trap of regretting.

Galatians 5:1
[ Freedom in Christ ] It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I forget sometimes that I am on a journey through life that is moved forward by one step at a time...another step forward.

Father, thank you that because of the Blood of Jesus, I am set free. Amen

Act Locally - Impact Globally!

In the 90's, I had the wonderful honor of hanging with an awesome group of young girls. They thought I was the teacher, but the truth was they taught me.

They taught me to be on my toes and on my knees. They taught me that laughter and giggles can cure a bad day. They taught me that my plan is not as good as God's plan and that I need to be open to throwing out my lessons for the day. They taught me how to listen not only with my ears but also with my heart.


We befriended Missionaries from around the world by writing letters. We visited one on one when they came to visit, we sat and listened as they told us of how God was touching their lives and the lives of the people they served. And we prayed for them always.

We looked at the world around us and saw where we could serve. Some days you would find us folding socks or bagging flour at the downtown mission. Another day you would find us sweeping and dusting at a ministry for families of prisoners. The next week we would go to a nursing home and be there to help with games and encourage the residents. Everywhere we went, we took the love of Jesus with us and shared it often.

Somewhere between here and there time has moved on. These young girls are now wives and moms with families of their own. My own children have grown up and moved on.

Though all have changed, there is one constant - Jesus.      

³⁶ When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. ³⁷ Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. ³⁸ Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”  Matthew 9:36-38   (NIV)

The harvest is still around us.  They have different names and backgrounds. Their lives intersect ours in a variety of ways.

Take Mina, for example. She is an Indian woman I led to Christ one day. As I talked to her about Jesus, her face changed and beamed with joy. I asked her about her "other gods" and she replied, "I have no other gods than the One True God.". I found out later that her grandfather is the Minister of Transportation for all of India. Her brother's, influential attorneys and doctors in India. Act locally - impact Globally.

Then there is Lyda, a dear sister in Christ who had to leave her home in Iran or be killed. Her mom was married to the local Imam and was a Muslim evangelist. Lyda moved to the Detroit area and ministered to the woman of the Muslim community. Weekly she received death threats. Weekly she rejoiced as women who she had befriended came to know Christ. Act locally - impact Globally.

Martin and Kim are dear friends here in Houston. They touch the lives of hundreds of homeless men and women, gang bangers, drug addicts, transvestites and prostitutes every week. The feed 'em, love them, help get them off the streets and share the love of Jesus above all else. People from around the world come to see what they are doing and take it back to their streets. They act locally - impact Globally.

The stories go on. My heart is full with the need to be available to God's call in each of our lives. He did not call us to sit on a chair, clap on the beat, and sing in tune. He called us to first love Him with all of our hearts, souls and minds; and then second to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Never before is the need greater. Now is the time to act.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

All Praise, all Glory, all Worship to my Lord and King!!

365 Perspectives - Day 2

I thought this would be easy but the truth is that even when your not doing anything, you're still doing a lot. The hard thing is picking out the one photo of each day that you want to remember.

This is one of the ones I chose to document Jan 2, 2011. Cleaning up the Christmas decorations always leaves me feeling both a little sad and at the same time relieved. Sad because the decor makes the house look pretty and relieved because after wards everything looks so nice and clean.

This is the one I did not choose. This is Sisi. She was not happy with me because I filed her nails back. I chuckled when I saw this one because she looks like she is razzing me.

This is the one I chose to remember January 1st - some of the fun and games we played...actually they played and I watched.

I am not sure what this next year will hold but I will be documenting it all along the way! Last year was a tough year for a variety of reasons. I am hoping for a new perspective seen through the lens of my camera. Happy New Year y'all!

Terri
Jan 2, 2011

Mirror, Mirror!

 I remember reading the fairy tale "Snow White" when I was around eight or nine. As I read the story, the words "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" became a chant that was a part of my play time for years to come. Whether Barbies or dress up, my friends and I would prance in front of a mirror and giggle as we recited it.

As I got older, the mirrors grew up too. They became my classmates around me who I would check with often to make sure I was "cool" enough. The mirrors became the boys I dated to make sure they thought I was pretty enough. They became the bosses at my jobs to measure if I was good enough. They became the magazine models to make sure I was skinny enough. The teachers to tell me if I was smart enough.

As an artist, I used mirrors all the time to check drawings, especially portraits. I would begin a sketch, get it roughed out and then hold it up to the mirror. Amazingly enough, it would show me where my proportions were off and I would then be able to correct it. I know the value of using a mirror to readjust and correct. The problem is I have been looking in the wrong mirrors.

 I woke up the other morning with this verse on my mind:

²²Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25

I meditated on it yesterday and woke this morning with revelation. I have been looking in the wrong mirrors to make corrections in my life. I have been looking to:

My husband -  who is a very good man but not a good mirror to judge who I am.

My children - also awesome people who God loves very much, but they make a  horrible mirror.

My job - thankful for the resources and income it provides but it does not define me.

The list goes on and on. It could include any ministry I am a part of, friends in my life, accomplishments. Do you see, the list truly does go on and on. I have used all of these things to look into and get a glimpse of who I thought I was. The problem is, they are bad mirrors that are broken and in need of correction and fixing.

Let's look at that solution verse in Jame 1:25, but this time using The Message Bible.

. ²⁵But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. James 1:25

 Only the Word of God can tell me in TRUTH who I am in Christ. Other things may give me momentary glimpses that are fact, but they are based upon the needs of the person I am looking at or my own emotional responses to their needs. Only the Word of God that is submitted to and activated by walking it out will be a true reflection of who I am.

So, who am I in Christ? I am chosen, loved, redeemed by the Blood. I am forgiven and a co-heir. I am a daughter of the Most High God. I am so much more than what I have been looking at and seeing through the eyes and hearts of others.

Here is the bottom line - I have old habits in my life that need validation to say "I'm Okay" or "I am right." Through revelation, I now know which mirror to look in and someday I will reflect and show the love of God who is even now filling me.

Praise Be to God from Whom ALL blessings come!

A long way off

I was reading in Luke 15:11-32 this morning and something really made me read this passage several times. You know the story, the Prodigal Son. Son wants what's his, asks his dad for an early inheritance, squanders it, nearly starves and then wakes up with the realization of what his bad decisions have done and goes home.

I know the story, we all do; but it was this one little bit in the midst of this story:  "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.(Luke 11:20b)

Did you see it? Did you get it? The son did not have to do anything for the father to be filled with compassion and run to him, the son. The son had not even yet opened his mouth to say, "I'm sorry, dad. I was wrong."

I know that I often put all of the pressure on me and hope for a "right" response from God. From this passage, all He wants is to see me come around the corner towards Him and He will meet me not just halfway, but all the way.

Turning around....again.

First Days

As the weekend before the first day of school looms large, I sigh. It has been many years since our last child graduated from school and moved into the workforce. This year, even though we do not have any kids to shop for any more, I could not resist the urge to buy and put away some supplies for "just in case".

I remember with a heart smile each of my kids first day of kindergarten, of junior high, of high school and then of college. I remember the day before and after my first child said "I do" to their wonderful wife. I now am adding the memory of my first grandchild getting ready to go to her own first day of school.

I am completely in awe of the ways God wove His way in our lives. There have been good times and heart aches. Memorable moments and regrets. There have been the times that still bring laughter quickly to our lips and times that we hope will eventually fade away.

No matter what, however, all is with a grateful heart.

At this stage in life there are not any "do overs" but there is a sense of being connected into something bigger than what one person can comprehend.

So, no matter where you are in the process, don't rush through the hectic schedules that you are and will be encountering. Say yes to the pony folder or the Spiderman pencil. That tshirt with the funny saying is okay. Sign up for PTO even though you don't know how you will fit one more thing in your schedule. Agree to volunteer with the band boosters or athletic boosters. Make sure your camera has new batteries and an empty memory (or film if you still use it).

This is a first day - for you and your child. Hold it close. Cherish it. You will need it in the future.

Things On the Left and the Right

Okay, an exercise. Whether in futility or not is yet to be seen - maybe a scrapbook page, maybe just something to read for later. Who knows?

Things I like:

• Walks on the beach in the fall or at midnight (empty beach/cool weather)
• baby yawns and baby feet
• smell of baby powder
• smell of baking bread
• thunderstorms
• holding my husband's hand
• smell of a clean house
• cuddling a puppy
• sound of the waves hitting rocks
• color of waves on the Pacific Coast near Big Sur
• view of the ocean from Hwy 1
• Watching the sunset over a body of water
• tulips
• getting a bouquet of tulips
• watching tulips grow and bloom
• walking in the snow
• reading a good book during a rain storm
• laughing with friends
• singing in church
• making up a song and singing it into the wind
• watching a baby sleep and seeing them smile
• hearing the voice of one of my granddaughters say my name
• riding roller coasters - especially smooth ones that take your breath away
• cooking for friends
• surprising someone with something they wanted and getting to see their face
• looking down into Yosemite Vally and being totally in awe of God's creation.

Things I don't like:

• sub woofers in a car 3 cars behind me
• sad endings in movies or books
• small talk
• liver
• cauliflower
• being ignored
• being yelled at
• being a passenger in a fast car
• washing dishes
• crying
• feeling powerless