Recently I mentioned that 2016 is going to be my "Year of Celebration". In the days and weeks leading up to the end of the year 2015, I had been praying for direction. I really wanted to lay this new year before God and start right. The word "Celebration" kept coming to mind. I can tell you that after repeating it several times, it kinda resonated in me. So I'm keeping it...its mine!
As I declared that 2016 is my Year of Celebration, I realized a couple of things. One, I haven't been really enjoying life these last couple of years. Not anything specific, but a kind of glumness that had settled over me and my moods. Yes, I laughed and participated and showed up...but I really had to make myself do it. This has nothing to do with anyone...it was a mindset...a stronghold inside me. I wanted to enjoy time with friends and family, but couldn't make the connection. With that revelation comes the second one, and it's a biggie! I've been grieving.
Grief is one of those emotions that's pretty easy to deny once the tears are no longer flowing. There have been losses in my life and lots of changes. My dad passed away in 2012. That was tough. Then there are some relationships that have deteriorated into oblivion. Then there's life changes of going from an active Mom to an empty nester...this one is 9 years ago and I have been in full denial. There have been changes in career and moves and other loved ones have gone on to heaven...and there you have it...full blown grief.
Good Grief! I want it to be over already!
But God! It doesn't matter how many times I say that, there's a relief and a sigh that washes through my very soul. Say it... but God!
But God demonstrates every day how very much He loves me. He loves me enough to say, "it's enough!" Joy does come in the morning. There has been pain and sorrow and lots of tears...but God. How very Amazing, beautiful, sweet and loving is my God! He is all of that and so much more.
I walked into the new year with anticipation of what God is going to do next. I got to the start line, looked to the left and right, and stepped into what I received as His promise...a Year of Celebration. With a full heart, He then revealed what I just wrote above. In faith, I took hold of His promise. In love, He took my burden.
He is Amazing! That's my God!
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