Lesson From Polly

During my quiet time today I really felt convicted on something.  I have a tendency to go back to things and dwell in places in my past that are painful. As I reflected on God's word, I knew that I needed to really ask God to show me what was going on. I truly needed freedom.

He gave me an image of our sweet dog, Polly,  I have pictured here. It's been a year since we had to let her go and be at rest. I still miss her. But it wasn't this that he was showing me, but my feelings that I had when she would lick at a spot on her leg, a hot spot, that would cause her much pain. No matter how much we tried to stop her from licking it, she would go back to it until it was raw and ready to bleed.

I realized from that picture that when I went and dwelled in memories where forgiveness and healing had been applied, it was just like licking a hot spot. Unlike Polly, I do have a choice. I can choose where my thoughts go because I have Someone who will supply me with the strength to keep my mind focused on Him instead of running to old thoughts and ways.

Jesus is ever faithful to love and forgive us and cleanse us from all of the dirt and hot spots that show up in our lives if we turn to Him and ask Him to.

Jesus, thank you for grace, for forgiveness, for strength. Thank you for lovingly reminding me that you are always with me.

He is For Me

It's so easy to think about what I want to say and then never speak. It's also too easy to know what I don't want to say and let it spill out.


Writing a blog is like that. Time and time again I have ideas that are on my mind and heart and somehow, something more important pops up and I forget. Much has happened since the last time I posted here. A thousand great ideas that didn't get conveyed, words of wisdom swallowed, and still yet, the world continues on.


I have started a new phase of life. I am quieter, a bit more observant, and not as ready to speak as I used to be. I know that God is doing a new thing in me and I am willing and eager to wait and see what will be the outcome. Prophetically speaking, He is deepening me - stretching me to grow in ways that I have not been yet; a new awareness of not so much His plans for me, but an eye opening view of His heart around me and for me.


I am learning how much God truly does love me and how much I have taken that for granted. 

"He is for me", I hear it whispered in the deepest reaches of my hidden heart.
"Forgiven", spoken in the darkest corners of my very being.
"Chosen", breathed into my very spirit.
"Healed", into this body of mine that daily decays and into my emotions that are bruised and have been abused.

The longing of my heart is to know Him more, to seek His face and intimately know every curve, every pore of who He is. 


Too often I have pursued the promises and have missed chasing the Promiser. 


Turning away from everything else and relinquishing to the very essence of Living Water - my heart does so thirst for You... and for You alone! Make me long for You even more.

His Church or his church?

I met with a friend today and we had a great time of just talking and catching up. It's been 20 years since we last met. I am now a grandmother and she is an awesome young woman. We talked about old friends we knew, places we both had in common, where we've been and what God is doing in our lives.

One of the things we talked about was ministries we have been a part of. Both of us have seen "the ministry" from the good side and we have both seen it from the 'other' side. I shared with her an insight God gave me many years ago. A simple question, really. A very honest question with a deep answer. The question? Is this God's ministry or is it the leaders?

I have been in places where the presence of God and His fingerprints were in every nook and cranny. I am a part of that type of ministry right now and am thankful that I am here. I have also been in places where the foundation is led more by personality than by presence. If I am really truthful, I have led ministries by my personality, and I have also been a part of God placed leadership led by Him.

So, relationship or religion? Spirit led or man controlled? God breathed or feelings inspired? Redeemed or faking it till you make it? Interesting questions. One real answer.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1a 






Terri

2012 - Looking Forward

As 2011 draws to a close, I am looking forward to 2012 and what it will bring. I have to admit, this past year has been both horrible and awesome. And even when I consider the stuff which broke my heart, I know I was never alone and that God was teaching me through each thing. I can think of one thing that occurred in 2011 that closed a very hurtful chapter of my life and helped me to look forward.

So, what are some of the things that I have learned? I have learned not to depend upon the roles in life I have and to depend on God. I have learned that even the most hurtful events will become just a distant memory if you will let them. I have learned that being an empty nester is both wonderful and sad.

I don't like doing resolutions (I chuckled here). I do, by my very personality, love goals. Here are some of my goals for 2012:

• Grow more as a person who loves God - or actually grow less that He might be more in my life by daily seeking Him.
• Drink more water every day and less diet cokes (this is really tough for me!!)
• Log 52 weeks of photos with Project 52 FB Group.
• Get to see at least 4 old friends who are on my FB list that I have not seen in a long time.
• Go on a real vacation that is just Doug and I (note: we have had real vacations, just never the 2 of us)
• Lose 50lbs of weight - my life depends on it.
• Get more involved in my church by teaching or whatever is needed.
• Once a month, pack at least 20 peanut butter/jelly bags to give the homeless in our city.
• Get my CDL.
• Finish my craft room.
• Plan out 12 crafts for 2012 and finish each of them in the month I started them.
• Start and finish the remodel of my living room..
• End 2012 with not being mad at anyone.

So there you have it. It's my list and I know I will probably add to it. Today, it's more than enough!

Happy New Year!

Terri

26 Years and Counting

I posted this today on my Facebook page and so decided to post it here too. Today marks our 26th wedding anniversary. I would love to say that we have had a perfect life so far, but the truth is we have had struggles. Those very struggles that at times would seem to almost destroy us have actually made us stronger.




Here are somethings Doug and I have discovered together through the years:

1. Everything he owns is mine and likewise, everything I own is his...even the money we earn.
2. Every fight is not a battle - we are not the enemy of one another.
3. Slow down and listen - even when the world around you is screaming...stop and listen to what he/she is saying.
4. Divorce is a word in the dictionary. It's not an option for later.
5. It's okay to get mad - just don't live there.
6. Never say anything bad about your spouse to anyone. Period!
7. Pray every day for each other and with one another. Then pray some more.
8. Dream together - it's our bucket list.
9. Give and take and give some more. Serve from a heart of love not from one that expects what you deserve.
10. Know Jesus. Without Him actively in your marriage all of the above means absolutely nothing!

 We don't have all the answers - we don't even know all the questions. We do, however, know The One who does know all. It is He who provides the 3rd strand for our marriage and is the strength of our very being.


May God bless you and give you a long, God centered marriage. He is definitely working in ours.

David and Rosalie Milton (58 years) & Terri and Doug Milton (26 years)

Neighbors

This is not about the empty house next  door or the one across the street. It's not about the guy next door who we never see or even the older gentleman down the street who is always looking around and is willing to help at a moments notice. The neighbors I am talking about are the ones, both friend and foe, who are in an all out battle for our very lives.


Ephesians 6:11-13 tells us that our struggles are not against flesh and blood but instead  against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  God also gives us help from the heavenly realms. In 2 Kings 6:17 we read, 'And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, LORD, so that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. ' We are told to put on our full armor, to fight the good fight, that we have all power through Jesus Christ.

All this to say this: with my feet firmly walking this ground below me, yet I will seek to see the unseen in the conflicts and the blessings in my life. Just as Elisha prayed, my prayer is, "open my eyes that I may see."

We do live in a world with lots of neighbors. We are in a battle that is being waged against us and our loved ones, and even against those who we do not call friend. We already know how the war ends and that Jesus is the victor. Let us now walk in victory, walking boldly with the authority given to us as followers of Jesus.

Walk forward!

"DO WHAT?"

I sent a text to a friend the other day and wrote, "Love you for who you are!"

After I pushed the send button, this thought came to me, "Why did I say 'who you are'?" I realized at that moment that I truly do love this friend in Christ like a brother because his heart is so good. He does not have to "DO" anything for me to love him more.

The next thought in my head was about a conversation I had just recently had with a friend over coffee. She said, "I loved you from the first moment we met." I told her thank you, but in my mind really could not understand why she loved me in that way because I had done nothing for her yet.

Then it dawned on me. I had set up a double standard in my life. I freely loved those around me but was afraid to receive love because of what it would cost me in "Do" time - afraid that the "I love you" was connected to an "I want" statement. Too often, I would hold friends at arms length because of fear of not being able to "do" what they expected of me but had not spoken...YET.

This goes even deeper, however. I found myself at times 'hiding' from God, from fully receiving his love, from being afraid that I could not measure up to the 'DO' he wanted from me. I know what the word says - what I believed was different.

I am so glad for freedom!

Revelation is freeing. I know without a doubt that I am wonderfully loved by God. I know now that I can be loved by friends and fully receive their love with 'no strings attached'. I know now that old grudges that I was hanging on to because someone did not 'appreciate' something I did for them can be left at the Cross - fully forgiven and let go.

2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)  Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 

Father, thank you for forgiving me of pride that wanted to enslave me to unrealistic expectations of myself and those around me you have set into my life. Thank you that your love freely flows through and around my life, unencumbered by a mind that set up traps to capture what you so freely gave. Thank you for friends who  love me despite my sometimes prickly nature. Thank you for my husband you gave to me 26 years ago, who loves me every moment and blesses me. My heart overflows and joy abounds. Blessing, Honor and Glory to the ONE who gave it all, thank you Jesus. Amen.