Honest Conversations

I was driving down the road today praying and just having a wonderful time talking to God. I was doing all the talking and not a lot of listening. Then He spoke. Today was one of those days that He really made me squirm.

Here's how the conversation kinda went from my side:

"Father, I'm really struggling right now. I want to be closer to you and there's just something in the way"

"Ohhhh, you mean that unforgiveness...but I have forgiven him, even if he doesn't deserve it"

"I know, I really do want to forgive him, but I start praying and I get mad all over again...I just get worked up and then I move on."

"What do you mean by 'why do you want to get even?' "

"I know that he is human and therefore not without fault and that I am just the same way. But God..."

"Lord, I do love you and I do want to be obedient. I know that you love him and that you love me. I know that he is as much your son as I am your daughter. Forgive me for holding on to and even cherishing unforgiveness in my heart towards my brother in Christ. I forgive him...no strings attached...help me love him in the way you do."

"Send him a Christmas Card?? Tell him I love him! Okay, I will as soon as I get home."

"I love you too! Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for correcting me and setting me on the right path."

I continued my drive, eyes a bit misty, backside a bit sore, heart a lot lighter. And yes, a Christmas Card has been done and is addressed and ready to go.

Restored

I had a thought the other day...

I saw a clay pot that had been broken beyond any use. There were cracks all over it's surface and in some places, there were even pieces missing.

I saw a hand pick it up, gently pull it apart, and then lovingly put it into a large glass container. The hand then filled the glass container full of a golden oil.

As soon as the last drop touched the surface, a light shined through from the back. I expected to see every flaw that the pot had contained but instead saw the beauty of the light shining through.

That pot is me...
  broken, not whole, chipped away by use and misuse by this world we live in...some
  of the chips done by my choices and some done by others to me.

The hand...
  God's hand - lovingly restoring me for His purpose.

The glass container...
  God's purpose and protection.

The oil...
  His anointing on and in my life.

That pot could be anyone. It could be even you.

I don't know about you, but I am so glad that even through all my imperfections, every mess up and wrong step... God has restored me and set me aside for His purpose so that He gets the glory.

In heartache and in joy

In the moments
      of breaths in between,
seeing Your hand
                    touching sight of your heart
                                       the motion of Your love,

And realizing
       in brokeness you are revealed,
   in perfection hidden most,
                      for it is when I need you thus,
                                     the power of your sacrifice revealed.

You are the Potter,
        and I am the clay,
molded and made by you,
     my  blemishes noted
                    brokenness made complete.

You are my God,
         I am your child.
                        Suspend me in the oil of gladness,
          Your light shining through.
Saviour, wonderful Lord,
                                            even yet and still,
                       in heartache and in joy,
I am complete in You.

Jesus, in all things I give you praise and thank You. My hope is in You and You alone. Soothe my heart, lead me by still waters, direct my thoughts, emotions and all of who I am.
Amen